1. Oreos that are not “Double Stuf.”
For various reasons like “stuff’ has two “f’s” not one and the cookie to vegetable shortening creamy center ratio is simply unacceptable without the extra saturated fat. Everyone knows the center is the best part. True story: I used to sit in my room in elementary school with a bag of Oreos, scrape out the filling from every single cookie and roll it in a ball. The cookies would get trashed and the filling would be stored in the fridge for me to eat. Don’t judge me.
2. Crop top shirts and dressing half your age
We all realize you’re paying the same price for half the material to slightly cover your body, yes? It’s both financially irresponsible and ridiculous looking. Put some clothes on, girls!
Not the kind of pictures you have to take because you’re finally on a date with your husband in forever but the kind that get posted to social media twelve times a day with duck lips, peace signs, or other overplayed poses. I can get off my anti-selfie high horse for a minute if you’re having a good hair day, feeling exceptionally good looking and are finally confident for what may be the first time in who knows how long. Otherwise you’re just being narcissistic. Stop that.
4. Body shaming
That body with love handles, a six pack, double chin, or high cheek bones is a gift. I don’t care if you do CrossFit or just have the Couch to 5K app on your phone with no intention of using it-that body is made to do miraculous things. You woke up this morning-what a blessing-now stop complaining and embrace the rolls and muscles.
5. Pretending everything’s OK-or everything is perpetually awful
If you have no flaws then let me gently suggest you struggle with pride. If your life is seriously falling apart-I feel for you, sister. It’s a leap of faith to be fully and intimately known. It’s also the most rewarding relational gift I’ve been given in the context of community and marriage. Support groups like Re:Generation, Celebrate Recovery, and the like are probably in your area. Don’t struggle alone. And don’t attempt to fool anyone else into thinking you never do.
6. Going to Target “for a couple of things”
This will never happen.
7. Not prioritizing alone time with your spouse
I assure you my marriage is the most conflict-filled when we’re the most children-centered. I’m not sure what intentional time in your marriage looks like but the grandeur of date nights pre-kids is probably out of the question. Spending $50 on a sitter just to go to dinner and a movie is not a good stewarding of our resources. Hello, mommy friends and the free babysitting swap! Set a blanket in your room, lock the door, get some cookies, cheese, wine, or Squeeze-It’s and have a conversation. You know what? You can even flirt a bit with your man. It’s allowed! After years of marriage you don’t have to be a fuddy duddy.
8. Paying $5 for a latte
I have bought the lie that 1 oz. espresso, 10 oz. milk and 2 oz. flavored syrup is a good value at $5. Granted the effects of my being caffeinated help keep my kids alive during the day but the reality that I can make my own, and better, at home for half the price weights heavily on me. Coffee shop trips for me are now a treat-not something I’m entitled to. And I make really awesome chai so keeping that as a staple in the fridge is uber helpful for a mid-day pick me up.
9. Not supporting your friends
I have a few girlfriends who are my biggest cheerleaders. Between linking my blog to their social media pages, encouraging me via text, or sending a gift card in the mail “just because,” they really make a girl feel loved. It’s easy to let the gifts and kind words get in the way of being equally supportive. Go to Target. Add a $10 gift card to the list of ” a couple things” and bless a sister. Actually call the gal, set up a lunch date (probably at Chick-Fil-A) so the kids can run amok) and foot the bill. Watch her kids so she can have a Mommy Morning. Put yourself aside for these gals. They’re pretty much amazing in every way.
10. Thinking you’ll ever have it all together
When you’re excelling at physical fitness, loving your man well, parenting, pursuing Christ, making advances in your career, etc. something else is failing. It’s just the truth. There’s no way to have Miranda Kerr’s body, have enough date nights or intentional time with your kids while being as devoted to the Lord or having a spotless home all at the same time. It just can’t. And that’s OK. Something’s gotta give. Deciding your priorities (do you pick up the kitchen or play Elefun? Do you go on a date alone with your husband or have a family night out? Do you waste time on the internet or have quality time with Jesus?) will free you from the daunting task of wearing a trillion and seven hats. You’re probably a wife, mom, sister, and friend all at the same time during some point during the day. Being aware of your limitations will allow you to excel in areas you’re responsible for and get rid of the burden that the trash still is in the garage or you’re rewashing the same load of laundry for the third time.