I firmly support you and tip my hat if you’re of the opinion that pregnancy is a beautiful thing, that carrying a child has never made you look more beautiful, and that the movements of your baby are something you’ll miss.
I can only get on board with the first of the three above statements. Pregnancy is beautiful…in a “I’m making a baby and my body is no longer my own” kind of way. Personally, there is nothing to miss about being 30 pounds overweight, in pain 40% of the time, and having the inability to sleep comfortably or for a longer than two hour stretch. Midnight, 2AM and 4AM pee breaks are not charming and are crazily unwelcome.
Why no one told me about these “little side effects” before signing up for any of my pregnancies is sure to show how little my friends care about me. There has to me some secret drug they give you post-delivery that makes you forget how much you hate not being able to eat sushi, sleep on your stomach, or enjoy a craft beer with your super hot husband.
In an effort to not sound cranky and resentful about being blessed with another child I’ll interrupt with this tidbit of love: I’m stoked to cuddle my bambino. I’m also stoked to see what our new “normal” will be. Unfortunately I have somewhere between 24 hours and 5 weeks (ish) until I find out so, for now, I’ll get on my soapbox of “Yo! Pregnancy is all kinds of whack!”
–I have a girlfriend who said once that she doesn’t just get pregnant in her stomach, her whole body gets pregnant. I feel ya, sister. Though I’m trending a healthier weight gain with C than K, the reality remains that I’m not getting any smaller and my tolerance level isn’t getting any higher. I’m of the opinion that I need a live-in masseuse and could greatly benefit from a
weekly daily house cleaner. I prayed for and am thankful for this child that’s due any second. I’m elated when, after a period of stillness, a move here or there to remind me he’s safe and sound. I do not appreciate the deep jabs and cervical kicks that I’m sure are both intentional and out of resentment for providing such a small living space.
–My days of wearing tank tops that cover my entire butt just to help hide the fact that not even a belly band can help hold my unbuttoned and unzipped pants up are numbered. I’ve moved on to my sweet husband’s side of the closet for some shirts that make me feel less like a high school girlfriend trying to be cool and wear her athletic boyfriend’s clothes and more like someone who should seriously entertain the idea of laying off the Oreo’s. Speaking of…I should seriously entertain the notion that Oreo’s are a combination of Crisco and unpronouncable yumminess. For some reason this doesn’t deter me and I assure you once I set this post up to go live I’ll snag another for good measure. Heck, maybe even a dunking cup of milk. Organic of course.
–I didn’t know that it would take no less than three pillows to get in a semi-comfortable position or that we’d need to invest in a California King to give me adequate room for comfort.
–And the heat. My goodness, the heat.