Week of September 16
It comes as no surprise to me, or likely even my husband, that when finding out the sex of our child-albeit unexpectedly- that I would somehow be confused.
Let me explain.
Monday I began having pains in my lower abdomen that would stop me in my tracks and force me to rest for a moment. I put a call in to my OB because of our miscarriage history and was encouraged to go home, rest, and stock up on water. Done and done.
The pains went away until Wednesday during our Bible Study. The pain ran to my lower back and another call was placed to my OB’s office. I was put on bed rest until my appointment the next day (no thank you, very much) and was encouraged again to drink fluids and rest. My sweet friend Amanda took K for the afternoon while I napped and did some good wasting of time by watching Breaking Bad. (Side note, that show is epic.) The pains subsided and I went to bed early.
Thursday’s appointment revealed I had gained three pounds in five weeks which was great according to their expertise. I convinced myself it was OK because I had just chowed down on some In N Out Burger-ideal for keeping pregnancy weight gain at a healthy rate. Baby’s heartbeat was found immediately-154BPM. We were sent back to ultrasound to be sure all was well with my cervix and that there would be no need for cervical stitching. (Let me pause here and say there is never any need for cervical stitching much like there’s never any need to wear socks with sandals or eat breakfast without bacon. It simply does not make any sense.) No cervical funneling. The ideal length was 4cm and I was close to 5-thus indicating no need for stitches. I would have fought tooth and nail on that one, let me tell ya. So many answered prayers in mere minutes.
I didn’t catch on well to what my doctor was asking when inquiring about “what I thought it was.” I went on to tell him I figured my busy travel schedule and stress level was to blame. I was cut off and asked about what I thought the sex was. I’m not exactly clear headed as of late. And by as of late I really mean ever. I went on to explain that I would like it to be a boy but have convinced myself that it’s OK if it’s a girl so I don’t have to make the circumcision decision. I’m the queen of TMI and over sharing on a vast array of subjects. My poor OB is going to hang up his coat after delivering this child. Since the ultrasound was vaginal the dr took a few seconds to make sure all was well and right in the World of Elizabeth’s Uterus and sure enough, baby boy was a kicking hooligan. Without a doubt we were blessed to hear we were having a son. Kerrigan clapped, I high fived my husband and told him “you’re welcome” as clearly this was all my doing and I deserved to be wife AND mother of the year. The only acceptable way to celebrate would be with diamonds, a trip to Hobby Lobby for more Christmas decorations, and frozen yogurt. I think we’ll just go heavy on the yogurt and Christmas decor.
We decided years ago when pregnant with K that if we were to have a son we’d name him Christopher Thomas. We finally are able to put that name-packed with so much sentimental meaning- to good use.
My husband, Chris, is a Jr. named after his father (obviously.) My husband is the better half of my union. (Credit is totally due here to a sweet gal I serve with in church who just used this explanation yesterday in her talk-definitely not my own wisdom.) He’s prayed with me for a son in hopes to carry on his name but, more importantly, train up a son to be wise and love the Lord. If there was ever a man fit to raise a little boy to be an exceptional combination of strong and tough mixed with thoughtful and sincere it’s this guy. I’m so elated to have him by my side through this journey and literally can not wait to watch him love on this mini version of him. If he’s a fraction of the father towards his son that he is towards his daughter we’re in great shape. He’s certainly the better parent of the two of us. The imagination and creativity of this guy is mind blowing. Still ask myself several times “Oh, why didn’t I think of that novel idea?” Such a great teammate I have in this man, that’s for sure.
Thomas comes from my dad. My sweet, awesome, exceptional, and essentially perfect in every way dad. My brother, Jonathan, who died 17 years ago next month, was also named after my dad and in looking for ways to continue his name on given I’m an only child, it only seems fitting to do our child some justice in hopes that he is a man after God’s own heart and will hopefully in many ways take on characteristics of the strong men he’s named after. Though reserved for the most part my dad is a riot. A royal hoot and a joy to be around. He’s committed to his family and to his work in ways typically written about in books or in ways others simply aspire to be. I’d be hard pressed to find another man worth naming my child after and though it’s a small token of our appreciation for the unconditional love he’s shown us, we consider ourselves the blessed ones to have him in our lives.
If this child grows to be a man with the wisdom, hard work, determination, love for the Lord, loyalty, and selflessness as the men he’s the namesake to then I’ll consider myself already set up for success in raising this child.
Chris and I joke sometimes that we need a son so I can have a child that loves me like sweet K loves her daddy man. Though there’s some humor behind that there’s also significant truth. I have no idea how to raise this child; but God knows exactly how I’m going to do it. I guarantee you there will be many times I’ll be in tears fearing I’m losing a parenting battle but will be assured by the goodness of God that He has not left me, or my child, that Chris and I spent so long praying and longing for. I’m overwhelmed at the fact that God has entrusted me with another child and hasn’t seen my parenting with K and decided to give her to someone else. (I will now stop with the mommy guilt and resume with praising God for our son.)