So this morning I have the pleasure of being stabbed by a needle. If you would have asked me several weeks ago how I feel about my lab work I likely shrugged you off and said it wasn’t a big deal. However, over the past 48 hours Satan has decided to have a hay day with this and as such I’ve reached out to many of you awesome girlfriends of mine for Scripture to meditate on. Uber huge thanks to y’all.
2 Timothy 1:7: For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Matthew 6:34-34 <sup class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(A)”>“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Phillippians 4:6,7-6 Do not be anxious about anything,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(A)”> but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(B)”> 7 And the peace of God,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(C)”> which transcends all understanding,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(D)”> will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I’m finally biting the bullet at my OB’s request and having a BRCA Analysis completed.
Helpful info here and here.
Basically, it’s genetic testing to see if I’m “positive” for the BRCA 1 and/or 2 mutation that increases your risk for breast cancer 5x and ovarian cancer 10-30x. Since I have a strong family history of breast cancer we’ve decided the best course is to monitor early and the insurance is more cooperative in paying for mammograms and other screenings in my 20’s and 30’s if I am indeed positive for the mutation. Of course this doesn’t mean I’ll actually ever GET breast cancer, it just helps keep an eye on it sooner than later for preventative care.
“So why the anxiety, yo?!” Well let me learn you something.
I am a hypochondriac (I’m not claiming that as truth anymore). I struggle well(sometimes) with anxiety that’s directly correlated to health issues. If I could be reimbursed for alt the co pays, ER visits, doctor’s visits, and hours on the internet searching my mystery illnesses I’d be sitting pretty. Either way, the results only bump up my screening age and make me less financially responsible should they be positive for a mutation and if negative I still have to begin screening early. The “what if” land that I get to live in for the next 3-4 weeks is less than thrilling.
Some more research informed me that I need to exercise more (check) cut out sugars as it feeds potential cancers (um, not check. I’m gobbling a stroopwafel as I type and now I have some guilt. Awesome,) reduce alcohol consumption (again, um, not check. I will not give up my glass of wine once a month.) and kick the smoking habit (never had one, done!) At the end of the day I figure I can either Blue Bell and vodka my way to cancer or I can not drink, eat dessert, lay off the nicotine pipe and either way still be hooked up to chemo. This is really pulling at my “control” strings. I’m a control freak of sorts and find myself frequently having arguments with God about my timing. I’m so thankful He loves me in spite of my desire to be a god over my own life, husband’s life, my kiddo’s life, and probably your life at times.
I suppose I should go put on the daily uniform of yoga pants and bright colored racer back tank so I can send the signal to my doctor saying “Look what I’m doing! I work out! I don’t eat carbs! I surely don’t eat dessert, unless you consider greek yogurt with a touch of agave nectar dessert! I measure out my protein on a cute scale from Williams Sonoma! No cancer here, buddy!” Please pray with me that I will be settled with the results either way, that the phlebotomist will know what they’re doing, and that K does not run up and down the halls screaming as I’m tied up awaiting a blood draw. This has happened. It ain’t pretty 🙂