Since Intentional Wife Week was a bust I figured I’d better limit myself to another three part series. Clearly five posts on any one topic is pushing it for me and my scattered brain. At least I can remain on topic for longer than two days. Elizabeth-1 Forgetfulness-0. Today is clearly my day. I have to admit I’m hesitant at the title I’ve given this series since I know I serve a God that has a sense of humor and I may very well be setting myself up for some serious life lessons over the next few days. Bring it on, Lord. I’m all for a challenge. Just make sure I still get to eat at my normal meal times and that I’m not being deprived of dessert. That would be a less than ideal learning situation.
Before I get started with “deep thoughts from Elizabeth” (which are sure to be not only deep, profound, and life changing but will likely be somewhat entertaining and mildly amusing) I have to brag on my kiddo a bit. We’re on day 6-I think-of potty training. She tells us when she needs to go almost exclusively with an accident or two a day. In her defense, they’re mostly as she’s running to the bathroom trying to get her little pants over her even more tiny hiney. We’re still going with the diaper at nap time and bet time routine though I think after this weekend I’ll really be scandalous and try a diaper-free nap time. Y’all watch out. This is serious business.
So I’ve been really convicted lately of an unforgiving heart. I’m normally all about the underdog, giving the benefit of the doubt, and generally assuming the best in people. Unfortunately my attitude as of late has been less than God-honoring. I’m not entirely sure why I’ve somehow slipped into this catty, judgmental state but I have and since I try to be honest all the time I most certainly can’t pretend that I think everyone smells like roses or that I want to spend my afternoons with everyone I meet. That would take a lot of time that I don’t have and likely result in a stressed out wife for my husband. The last thing we want is a sad husband. Any who, I digress.
The point I’m making is that I’m really needing to take a lot of thoughts captive and turn them to ones that will really me allow to love others well. What kind of Social Worker turned Stay At Home Mom would I be if I just assumed some people just don’t deserve dignity or respect? A terrible one, that’s what kind. Though my license to sign the BSW credentials after my name (though not nearly as desirable as LSCSW but, whatever) has expired, I still take pride in my ability to have some liberal tendencies in the way I interact with others.
I suppose this is a natural time to transition to stating that I’m fairly socially Liberal while remaining financially Conservative. Chris would argue with the aforementioned statement because if you look at my Visa bill each month I’m probably not THAT conservative. I’ll work on that. Lord, here’s a lesson. Let’s work on my stewardship and general view on finances. I didn’t vote for Obama and I even more certainly didn’t vote for Romney. Before you shun me let me say that my views on who needed to be elected to office fall in line with Scripture and neither of the front running candidates were exactly “Biblical Christian’s.” My blog. My opinion. We can debate later. I debated in high school and was pretty darn good at it. Don’t let my impeccable style and dirty blonde hair fool you into thinking I lack logic. Also, don’t let my uniform of Nike shorts and running shoes fool you into thinking I exercise. I don’t; and after my physical yesterday and an embarrassing “you should exercise” conversation with my doctor I may be changing my tune.
I’m optimistic that though I’m struggling in this area that I’ll be more mindful of my general complacency around the topic and actually do something about it. There’s a difference between being friends with everyone you meet and being friendly. For me high school ended many years ago and yet here I am with my
holier than thou and mean girl attitude. I’m fairly black and white with relationships. Either we’re best friends or we don’t particularly get along. I’m perfectly content at either extreme and am really hoping that the Lord will use this valley in my walk to show me ways to be more like Him, to extend grace that others so deserve, and just love on people regardless of how I feel. After all, feelings are fleeting and the moment I start using “I don’t feel like it” as an excuse not to fix what’s broken my house will be demolished, my marriage will crumble, and, according to my doctor, I’ll probably die earlier than I’d like.
For now I’ll be proactive, being mindful of not only my interactions with others, but also of my attitude in general. If we’re all sons and daughters of the King then why is it so hard for me to see that before I see their flesh? And if we’re all brothers and sisters in Christ then I surely would adopt a more positive mentality towards my family. I can guarantee at the end of the next few days I won’t have it perfect and will continue to stumble. In being honest and forthright about my own struggle, my own hard heart, and my own sadness about where my head’s at my hope is that Christ will see me surrendering myself at the cross and really reveal a love and compassion for all that I have so frequently for others just as deserving.