I think I used to blog…

I had a great schedule going with posting first thing in the morning but it seems I am mother/wife/worker/child of God…hear me rawr (just not from a blog.) Wednesdays are exceptionally difficult it seems. Between Bible study and driving back to work by 5 I have minimal time to do much. Granted today I did two loads of dishes, made blueberry pancakes, and wiped down the counters but, let’s face it ladies and gentlemen, this is not normal. In the back of my mind I know I should sweep the kitchen and fold the laundry I’ve restarted twice but instead here I am slightly jealous of the awesome Kansas snowstorm and those at Free State eating Cheddar Ale soup and  drinking awesome beer watching KU dominate in Oklahoma tonight.

Bible Study was pretty win today. I’ve been on this whole “submit to the Holy Spirit” kick. It humbling but really has stirred me to wonder whether or not I’m doing things out of my own desire to be nice or if it’s the prompting of the Lord. Goodness knows it’s highly unlikely that by my own initiative I’d get off my couch or the computer to do much of anything around the house that involves a broom, toilet brush, or Swiffer. I’m really encouraged by my saving faith and how I’ve seen a transformation in myself since deciding to take off my “holier than thou” shades and put on some big girl pants. I figure if I’m going to gain spiritual maturity I’m going to have to actually do something about it. Spending a few hours a week at church and several more with Biblical community is only going to get me so far. I can’t rely on my pastor to nudge me to apologize to Chris when I roll my eyes or disregard his feelings.

I distinctly remember our leader from a marriage group telling me that it’s just time to grow up. Though stunned by the harshness of her words it was exactly what I needed. How am I supposed to lead my daughter to be a woman of God who finds her identity in Chris and not in men or the worldly satisfaction of being a size 0 (which to quote One Tree Hill is NOT a size?) If she sees her mama leading other kiddos at church and encouraging women but at home gets frustrated with her daddy or raises her voice out of nowhere I’m not being very Christ-like now am I? The answer is “no,” just FYI. I’m fully aware that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and believe you me, if you want the story of a sinner I’ll hook you up with my testimony. Though not ridden with a drug or alcohol addiction as some may assume are some “visible sins,” I assure the saving God did in my life is nothing less than miraculous.

Regardless of if I spend my time jamming out to iTunes (Crossfade-“Breathing Slowly-Acoustic” for all you who like good music) and blogging or cleaning my house I’m encouraged by the fact that I don’t have to be legalistic and try to do this life on my own. I have a God who saves, and has saved, and that’s enough. I feel like I’m frequently of the mindset that things Satan intends for evil the Lord can turn to use for good. ( Genesis 50:20-You intended to harm me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(AN)”> but God intended<sup class="crossreference" value="(AO)”> it for good<sup class="crossreference" value="(AP)”> to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.)  My posts may be sporadic and not so well thought out but I assure you my life is a daily example of that craziness. Without the calm and never-changing love of God to make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:6 -In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight) I’m likely to end up like the 20 year old alcohol loving, attention seeking, self centered little girl I was not so many years ago.

A saving grace like the one I have isn’t just for people who grew up in church or went to some camp during the summer. It’s a gift. It’s free. And I would love nothing more than to go on and on about it. Perhaps over coffee, anyone? My treat! Maybe I’ll even bake you something awesome just to pick your brain and see what your beliefs on religion are all about…

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