Intentional Wife Week

I realized I do better with structure. Structure that isn’t rigid, however. I don’t particularly like rules. Life should be fluid and few social norms should be strictly enforced. The most important is being on time. This means five minutes early. If you want me at your house for dinner at 6 I’ll be there at 5:55. Actually, I’ll be on your street waiting in my car at 5:50 waiting for Chris to tell me it’s OK for us to ring the doorbell. He doesn’t like the concept of being my version of early. I’m consistently 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Being late simply isn’t an option. Unless you have to be at work at 6PM, are heading West on road X and the idiot drivers turning North on road Y have no idea what the meaning of a red stop light is so they’ll go ahead and keep driving and as such block the intersection for the duration of two green-yellow-red light cycles. People, be on time. My time is valuable and, trust me, there are plenty of other things I can be doing besides waiting on you to get out of the shower and get your kid dressed and out the door. Lets plan ahead, shall we? As I type this I’m fully aware that I need to work on extending grace to those who are consistently tardy. I’ll still be frustrated as I extend said grace but, by golly, I’ll extend it.

Another social norm that is absolutely unacceptable not to uphold are manners. If my toddler is more polite than you that’s a testament to my being an awesome parent but it’s indicative of your lack of tact and class. If you have a stroller, five kids, and a screaming baby I’m gonna hold the door open for you. If you’re alone talking to Jenny about how Sally needs to get her roots touched up I’m gonna hold the door open for you, too, just because I need a good idea of where to start getting my hair did-not because I want to be your friend because gossip is rude.”Please” and “thank you” are as stylish as a bright turquoise bauble necklace and some leopard loafers. Just be kind, yo. “I’m sorry” is pretty becoming on everyone, too. Unlike skinny jeans and sock buns which only appear to work in very specific situations-my hair is too fine and my patience is lacking to struggle with making my hair look like a donut on top of my head. It looks cute, though. Your asking for forgiveness and owning up to letting others down really is about as good looking as a Chanel bag or a Twisted Root cheeseburger. Just swallow your pride and admit you screwed up.

Before this turns into a “how to not screw up Elizabeth’s day” post I’ll move on to the point. I’m convicted of not being intentional with my man. I’m sure I’m not alone and for that I am thankful.The things like being punctual and polite integrate directly into my marriage. Take yesterday morning for example. Church starts at 9 so we leave by 8:15 because I said so and luckily Chris agreed. We left at 8:22. Unforgivable. I was ticked and failed to effectively communicate my ticked-off-ness. I take that back. I’m pretty sure Chris was more than aware I was upset (was it the huffing, rude tone, or eye rolling?) Any who, I’m quick to be snarky. My goal for day 1 of Intentional Wife Week (IWW) is to consciously commit to respectful communication.

For me this will look like focusing on my tone, facial responses, and simply being a “yes”wife. Need lunch packed? Sure, babe. K needs a diaper change and to go to back to bed, again, at 4:24AM? All over it. Your work shirts are wrinkled? The iron is in the laundry room Got it, sweets.The point is I say “no” often out of my own selfishness. Why would I pause Our America with Lisa Ling or, even better, The Bachelor to help you out? Not gonna happen, buddy. Luckily for my man this blog is public and I’ll have accountability from my girlfriends. I’m trusting him not to abuse my “yes.” I know him better than that.

I really desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman:
10A wife of noble character<sup class="crossreference" value="(K)”> who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband<sup class="crossreference" value="(M)”> has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.<sup class="crossreference" value="(O)”>
14 She is like the merchant ships,bringing her food from afar.15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.18 She sees that her trading is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes coverings for her bed;she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,where he takes his seat among the elders<sup class="crossreference" value="(Q)”> of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise<sup class="crossreference" value="(S)”> at the city gate.

I struggle finding tangible ways daily to do it. Each day this week I’ll focus on a specific Biblical principal and prayerfully put it into practice. Today’s focus is from verse 12 (She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.) My goal is to be more than a helpmate, slave, or chore do-er. To bring good is more than remain idle and not rock the boat. It calls me to action, selfless action.

.”The Proverbs 31 woman provides a safe haven for her husband.She is trustworthy and reliable.We can have total confidence in her integrity, ability and good character.Rahab was all those things, because she heard the word of God and believed what He could accomplish.She displayed the disciplined and prudent life from Proverbs 1.This comes from the wisdom she received from the Lord.Seems strange to say that about a prostitute from a pagan land.Yet, God used her in a powerful way.She not only helped the Israelites win the land God had promised to them, but she was also the mother of Boaz and an ancestor of our Lord Jesus. ” (

My cabinet is stocked with espresso for an extra dose of energy to actually get things done around my house and my heart willing, ready, and hopeful to glorify the Lord with my actions as a wife. Here’s hoping this isn’t just a week long self challenge but a heart transformation that will bless not only my man but glorify the Lord. Maybe I’ll convince Chris to guest post his side of the experience next Monday…


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