I heart Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I adore Pinterest. The problem with Pinterest, however, is my inability to be the parent/mother/friend/wife/woman caputured in the thumbnail pictures I “pin” to my not-so-cleverly-titled boards. Being in a playgroup and community with women who are authentic with their struggles has made me realize I’m not alone in my never ending quest to perfect the art of being human. Ha! As if my Christian faith didn’t already remind me that I’d never get it right 🙂 That being said, I’m in a position to do something about my inferiority or wallow in self pit and not brag worthy party for my toddler’s birthday. I shouldn’t blame Pinterest, though. My own struggles and insecurity are to blame for sizing up how I parent as compared to the Dallas dollar signs that are flaunted all around me. I’m making it a goal to list three things I’ve failed at as a parent (mind you, three things that matter, not the fact that we don’t buy organic chicken for K or that she may or may not have had french fries more than once last week.) Since the good in my life significantly outweighs the bad I’ll list five that I’m proud of and pray that list doesn’t repeat itself (mind you, five things that matter not the fact that I gave K a bath more than 5 times this week and actually washed her hair 4 of those times.)
As a mom who has had that title for just under two years, I’m confident in my ability to say I don’t have it all together, but what I do have is a Savior who does, and because of that I can firmly believe that not sending home party favors from K’s birthday party next week does not make me “lesser than.” If anything, I like to think that by omitting said favors I’m actually making some mama’s thrilled to not have to find random plastic toys in their car and clean candy covered hands in the process. (I doubt I’d have gotten organic fruit strips or veggie chips as favors. Just saying. My little girl likes gummy bears and Rolos. Forgive me.) The stress of throwing a party worth posting pictures of on Facebook is huge. Unless you ask my husband then the importance of picture tagging on social media bears the importance of how many times I brushed my hair this morning-which by the way was 27 🙂 I digress.
By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that my quick wit and sense of humor (which is AWESOME by the way) are frequently interjected to make light of somewhat awkward situations. I’m a pretty crummy mom somedays and an even crummier wife as well. I hold myself to the world’s standard of success and in those moments wallow in self pity. K watches TV every morning while I surf the interwebs and have a latte. K also eats Chick-fil-A at least once a week and sometimes I order her the fried nuggets AND fries (gasp!) In my defense I eat some of the fries, too, which may very well be another negative in my column as I should have ordered the fruit for the antioxidants and help in weight loss. K also has begun climbing out of her crib and into Chris and my bed promptly at 6:30 each morning. And we let her. I actually enjoy it. I didn’t breastfeed exclusively, ever, and the breastfeeding I did was only until five months. Chris reminds me, lovingly, that my cleaning skills are about a 5 of 10 and I should probably be more mindful of the length of my shorts. In my defense, I have long legs and are relatively nieve to the fact that anyone would notice the fact that it’s January and I’m rocking my Nike’s without a care in the world.
On a better, lighter, note I must confess I am a bomb cook. I give wicked awesome hugs and K has an IQ of a billion because I spend countless hours reading, teaching letters and advanced calculus to her. This is a lie. I have lied to you and for that I apologize. K’s IQ is not quite a billion but I do pride myself in teaching her pre-preschool academics. I am beyond tender hearted and want to pay for everyone’s groceries when I check out. I love the Lord and semi-actively persue a stronger relationship with Him as life and my own selfishness gets in the way of actually spending my morning in the Bible as opposed to Facebook/TMZ/blog hopping. I want to adopt almost all children yet have zero desire to ever adopt an animal. I have somewhat decent fashion sense and am a pretty legit friend. I attempt to make healthy food choices and genuinely have a servant’s heart. All in all some day’s I’m just barely floating above water, but thank the Lord for those around me who are full of love, truth, and encouragement to lend a hand when I’m near drowning.
Stream of consciousness blog-done. I suppose the weekly “List” will round this thing out and I’ll go about my day in fashionable bright orange pants, a pimple on my chin, a half drank day old latte, and encouragement from a Watermark podcast hoping to ignore my love handles and tell my husband more than once that I appreciate him.
Meh-1. Chris has spent more time on the floor playing with K than I have.
2. I haven’t read today’s Journey post, nor pondered the follow up questions.
3. I’ve been a less than helpful helpmate to my spouse.
Holla.-1. I had some extended “me” time with my luxurious sugar scrub this morning AND did my hair.
2. I completed a load of laundry.
3. I took a hard look at whether or not I’m more like Christ today than this time last year. Answer-slightly, yes.
4. I played with K’s new dry erase markers and attempted some more alphabet/number memorization. She wanted nothing to do with it. Smart girl.
5. I encouraged my loving husband to have some bro time with his family as opposed to hoarding him all to myself on one of his few and far between days off work.